Tantrums

This is how my 6 month old cries these days. Hilarious eh?

Every child throws fits. Even those "perfect children" have moments, whether they're in public or in private. The sad part is that most people treat parents whose children throw fits as bad, like they can't control their children.

That's not how it works!

My first born was an amazing child. I started school when she was 10 days old so I was extremely lucky with how easy she was. She would play by herself, "read" on her own, and sometimes just sit beside me while I did my homework the entire time I attended school.

But she wasn't perfect.

In public it was pretty easy to control her fits. A harsh quietly spoken word would generally shut it down quickly. I was lucky to have that "perfect" child who listened most of the time. Though not always.

At Wal-Mart, 2 years old, she didn't want to continue the shopping trip. "Ok, I'll just leave you here," generally works with kids. If not, when you start to walk off they run after you in terror at being left alone. Not my independent child. "Ok," she said, sitting down on the floor. I walked away, knowing I could see her around a corner yet she'd be unable to see me. I waited nearly ten minutes, she had moved on to lying in the middle of room, before I finally had to go back and physically put her into a cart and make her leave.

Not a huge fit, but one of the biggest and first she had ever "thrown" in public. Did I get stares? You bet. How could I walk away from my child? How was I such a terrible parent that I couldn't control her?

My first letting me know she was finished taking pictures. 

It's normal! For fucks sake, children also have minds of their own and they can't express it like an adult can.

When we moved into my husband's parent's house for a bit she really started acting out. Not sure what tipped her into the terrible two's at 5, but it was full force.

At church, which she's been attended since birth and therefore knows exactly what is an isn't appropriate, she wanted to lay on the floor. I said no. The screaming started. Quietly spoken words, veiled threats, open threats, nothing worked so we took her out front to let her scream it out for a few minutes, thinking she would work her way through it if we ignored her.

Didn't happen.

Fifteen minutes into it I realized it wasn't going to end and everyone inside could hear. This wasn't my church so I was extremely embarrassed and didn't want to inconvenience anyone. We decided to walk home where she would spend the day in her bed until she calmed down.

We walked on. She followed a couple steps, then stopped and screamed. A couple steps, more screaming. It was so loud and intense that people actually came out of their homes to ask if we were kidnapping her, or if she was hurt. "No, nope. We're good thank you." I'm actually really surprised that we didn't end up having the cops called on us for this one.

If the ground had opened up I would have willingly stepped inside to escape the stares.

We walked the 5 miles home, me silently fuming and hating the fact that I chose to wear flip flops, her screaming and crying, and my husband shaking his head. Inside I was a mess, MIL saying we were giving her what she wanted, implying I was a bad parent. Was I a bad parent? It has NEVER left my mind.

That sort of fit never happened again though. Whether it was the walk or the punishment of bed and ignoring her I have no idea.

I called her a rude face after she screeched at me for not picking her up.

In private, she still acted out. During dinner she refused to eat something, didn't want to sit down, didn't want to calm down or stop talking. Eventually I removed her from the situation by taking her down stairs. I had to drag/carry her to get her down there, screaming and yelling at me the whole time.

About 30 minutes later I recieved a text,  "Is Lindzy ok?" Well barely because I came with in an inch of freaking out why? I had accidentally called my friend and she got a ten minute voice mail of Lindzy crying and yelling, thumps as she kicked the wall or stairs on the way down, and me telling her to stop. Begging really because I was at my end by that point. 

That was the worst private fit, so of course it was also public humiliation.

Once she threw her head down in anger and smacked it on the floor.
Once she listened and didn't react in anger.
Once she had to stomp for 5 minutes because she had stomped at me in anger.
Once she calmly told me how she felt and we discussed it.

Even my 6 month old has started throwing fits. They're rather hilarious since all she can do is grunt and wave her arms and legs around. She's also started throwing in the word "mama" when I don't respond to her upset quick enough.

The best thing to do is look at it in humor, even when you want to poke your ears out and pour acid in your eyes. Remember that the fit will go away, it literally can't last forever even if it lasts till they're an adult.

The demon spawn that has become your child will eventually drift away to the sweet baby you fell in love in love with.

Ignore the stares because chances are they don't have children, and if they do, they haven't gotten "lucky" and had to deal with a fit yet.

But it will happen. 

Even to the best child. Every child will throw at least one terrible fit that makes you lose your shit and question your decision to be a parent.

If all else fails, I've heard throwing fits back at them in public works wonders on the older children.