World Views

My nephew was visiting the other day and wanted to play some Fantastic Pets on our x-box kinect. (Thank you husband's brother for letting us have it!) I was making some sauteed onions and mushrooms for Steven, the husband, while Reyna, the baby, was showering with him. I was also cleaning and walking back and forth when I noticed my nephew was just sitting in the rocking chair near my daughters closet staring at the kinect.

He got up, walked to the bed, then back to the chair and sat there dejected. It was a little entertaining and I was unsure what he was doing so I just kept watching as I walked back and froth.

Probably a good five minutes later he yelled to me, teary eyed confusion with his voice slightly quivering. "I just want to get on Lindzy's bed RoRo, but it keeps saying 'you're too close, step back'". I tried desperately not to laugh as I explained that was only for the game, that he could get on the bed if he wanted.

As funny as it is - and it is funny - kids are so influenced by everything around them. They are extremely trusting. They believe everything adults say whether they should or not.

I recently read something about why kids believe adults, that for their entire life the adults are correct. The sky is blue, that's a tree, that's a car, I'm your mother, father, grandmother, etc. Kids grow up KNOWING that everything you say is true even when they want to argue about it.

It went on to say that we can change how a child views themselves based completely on that. If we tell them they're stupid or fat, smart or amazing, they are going to grow up believing that because... we're always correct.

Even if all we say are things about ourselves they are listening and they are going to be influenced. Kids hear you saying "I look so fat in this" "I'm so ugly" and they are going to put it onto themselves as well. We don't mean to, no one goes around planning to make their children hate themselves (I would hope not at least. If you do then this blog is certainly not aimed at you. Why don't you try looking up "I'm a shitty parent" on google instead.)

They believe the things we say, so parents need to keep that in mind when speaking to them, to each other, and most importantly about themselves. I don't want my daughters growing up to think that fat is bad because I have body image issues. I don't want them growing up to think their fat or ugly because they hear me saying the same things about myself.

Kids are the most important thing in a parents life, we need to be careful we don't ruin them. It's easier to keep building on someone's high self esteem than it is to repair it from careless words.